"My life, quite often, like many people's lives I suppose, is not what I had hoped it would be. I am not the person I had hoped I would be. I spend so many hours and days and weeks and months and years doing things that don't seem to be of my own choosing. I want to be a writer but I work at construction 8-10 hours a day and run errands and squander time and get depressed and squander more time and then I have commitments to others which must be kept and some of those are very rewarding but as I keep them the little time I had left to write is seeping away and I try to make time to pray and sometimes I do but it is too often rather dry and lifeless prayer and I squeeze in some scripture but not enough and some exercise but not enough and somehow I've been sabotaged--I got old and racked with injuries and lost most of my big bushy head of hair and the girls don't notice me anymore, not like they used to and Young Adult Ministries has enacted age limits that exclude geezers like me from their functions and the little time I had left for writing is getting away from me and when I do try to write I often fail and my room is a mess and my files are a mess and my finances are a mess and I don't feel up to dealing with any of it and good God how did it all turn out like this?" (>>)